when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
