I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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