I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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