Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
