Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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