i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
