One girl and one boy is just not enough.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
