What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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