Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
