got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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