why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
