You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize