Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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