well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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