im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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