Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
