He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
