There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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