Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
