my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
