Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
