Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
