Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
