i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
