He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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