Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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