Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The air taste purple.
Randomize
