She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
