So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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