The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
