My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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