dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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