I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
