great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
