So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
