walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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