I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
