On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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