I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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