as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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