And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
