I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize