I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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