Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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