I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
