The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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