would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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