Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
