I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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