i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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