did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
