My brain says no but my pants say off.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
