my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
