thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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