AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
