It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
