it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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