You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
And then he peed in my hair
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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